Judy El-Shakhs, 90, of Princeton NJ, Worcester MA, Wellfleet MA, and Fort Lauderdale FL died in her home in Princeton on October 6 after an extended illness.  She was a community-builder, a force for loving kindness and inclusion, and the best mother, grandmother, aunt, friend and neighbor. She was laid to rest on October 9 in Princeton Cemetery next to her husband of 58 years, Salah El-Shakhs, who passed away 3 months earlier. Judy is survived by her three children, Tamer, Hisham (Jennifer), and Muna (David), as well as four cherished grandchildren: Benen, Malek, Galena and Billy. Judy is also survived by her nephews and their families, who she loved dearly. She will be missed by friends and family around the world. The family has requested that, in lieu of flowers, donations be sent to Doctors Without Borders at https://give.doctorswithoutborders.org/campaign/675296/donate

Born on May 31, 1935, in Worcester, MA, to John and Ellen Coghlin, she was very close to her sister Cynthia despite being several years apart in age. Judy received her B.A. from Connecticut College in 1957. Judy devoted her joy and patience to working first as a Camp Fire Girls leader and Art Teacher, and later to being an incredible homemaker and community-maker. She met Salah while working in Cambridge, and they married in Cairo in 1966. They began their life together in Egypt, where Tamer and Hisham were born. In 1969, they returned to the United States where Muna was born. Judy and Salah were often inseparable, spending the rest of their joyful and adventurous lives together.

Judy was an adaptable and strong woman, who straddled continents while raising young children in Egypt and the U.S. She embraced diversity and multiculturalism and was known for her kind, inclusive and generous spirit. She didn't care how much money you made, what your job was, or what your race, religion or ethnicity was. If you were a kind person, she treated you like family. In her volunteer work as the Vice President of the Parent Teacher Organization at Princeton Middle School, she supported lasting traditions and fundraisers that built community and brought people together, such as Super Saturdays, a picnic for new families, and a talent show featuring parents, cafeteria staff, custodial staff, and teachers, thus shining her light on a model of inclusion that builds strong communities. Her longtime friend and former President of the PTO, Marge Smith, said that Judy's embrace of diversity and her knack for making everyone feel welcome for exactly who they are, was a crucial part of the PTO's success. Mom brought the same ideas to our neighborhood, organizing block parties and making new neighbors feel at home.

So many of Judy's friends speak of her invaluable support for them in their times of need. She was always present, listening patiently and offering helpful advice. If you needed someone to sit with you in the hospital or be there for a sick family member when you could not, Judy was there. Countless neighbors have shared stories of how she would show up bearing food and gifts after a birth, a move to a new home, or just to bring joy to neighbors' children. Even in her last weeks, despite her illness, she insisted on visiting a neighbor in need. She was also known for talking to strangers and making them smile or laugh, and then helping them make connections with others. Many of those strangers who she approached went on to become a strong part of our family's community.

Our mother taught us what unconditional love means. For her children and grandchildren, her generosity knew no bounds and spent countless hours flying or driving to visit their children and grandchildren at every opportunity. Mom loved us for exactly who we are, without trying to force us into a mold of who she thought we should be. She supported us in what mattered most to us. We benefitted from her loving kindness, and she taught us how to share that same unconditional love with people in our own lives.

Judy is also remembered for her joy, humor and strength. She showed many of us a way to be ourselves and to find joy in life every day. A piece of artwork in her room says, "Bloom where you are planted", and it is a lesson that she has left for others. Judy was an incredibly strong woman. Throughout her extended illness and significant pain, she did more than endure. She continued to make people smile. She would tease and joke with us and her amazing caregivers Lorna and Debbie. Even in her last days, when she could no longer find the words to joke, she used her eyes and gestures to make people laugh. May she rest in power and may Judy's memory be a blessing.